I am torn by the prospect of losing the love of many who knew the male me…is it really worth it I ask myself???
Across the TG/TS internet, are horrifying stories of people losing their family, losing their friends, because of their transition.
It does not have to be this way. There are ways to minimize losses, and even to avoid losses.
A *GOOD* friend is one who knows everything about you, and loves you anyway.
My friend Ric was like that — Ric knew everything about me, about my being TG/TS, way back during high school, and we stayed friends throughout life.
Ric and his wife, (the three of us were friends in high school) worried only about the effects on their daughters of my transition, when that transition ultimately began. Both of their daughters finally told their parents to quite acting as if my life were a secret; those two girls had figured it all out, very early on…
The other side of this coin is that, had you actually been born female, most of those people would never have gotten to know you in exactly the same way as they do now, and most of them would not love you in the same way, now, as they do.
You are who you are now, because of the life experiences you have had.
You are loved as you are now, because of who are are now. Who you are now, is all because of the thoughts, the feelings, the experiences you have had so far, hidden or not, and which you bring to your family, your career, and your social life today.
Those experiences would have been vastly different, and your involvement in your social life today would be vastly different, had you been born female. You would not have had that wife, those children, those friends, anyway.
The problem then, is in trying to fit your male life experiences into a female persona.
The problem you face, then, is in trying to create a female persona, in a way that no one will be able to tell you ever had a male life experience…. without losing any of the benefits you now have because of those male life experiences.
THAT is a serious, and insurmountable, transition conundrum.
The solution is to stop trying to reach totally across the gender binary, and to just embrace YOU as who you really are — which is as a female who has gained a lifetime of male experiences.