The No-Loss Transition, Chapter 1

From a customer:

It has been one year exactly since I have been on the hormones here. My journey has been nothing short of amazing. Each day I wake up, I have a new internal feeling that feels normal and comforting. Of course, every day there are outward physical changes as well. My 16 necks have been transformed into one very feminine looking one. The jaw line has defined itself as feminine and the overall facial re construction has made the whole face look more feminine. The skin is babys; but smooth, the muscle mass has lessoned, the weight has re distributed, breast development is well under way and I have crossed the line that everyone talks about. I have crossed from being a testosterone based makeup, to an estrogen based makeup and all the things that come with that, the feelings both internal and external are more than amazing.

Although physically I couldn’t be more happy, the internal changes have been the most enjoyable. I have come to an inner peace with who I am and I have actually become a better listener, more compassionate and overall better person because of the changes. It has not been said in words from those around me, but I know that they have noticed the changes as well and as far as the internal changes, these they definitley like.

While on the one hand, I have a spouse who does not want to understand my journey and hates the fact that I am on it, she does like the internal changes, but cannot bring herself to say so publicly or privately to me. My 88 year old mother, on the other hand, might just get it.

The other day we were discussing the speeches that were given at the Democratic convention. My mother, although not democrat, said that she thought they were out for votes and that many people in the gay and lesbian communities might get hurt when they find out that they just wanted their votes and the other stuff was fluff, not reality. In talking further with her, she also stated that on the subject of marriage, and she had a 62 year marriage to my father, it all boiled down to a commitment and a piece of paper. Why should you not be able to love the one you love and why should you not be able to get the same benefits that married people have as well. She has a gay hairdresser and knows other people on both sides of the fence, gay or lesbian. She feels everyone should have the same rights regardless of their tag in life.

Now, as you could imagine, I was somewhat impressed and taken back by her comments. The conversation continued, and then she really dropped the big one on me. Without saying that she knows and accepts me as I journey through life on this new course, she started to tell me that all babies start out as female and according to the hormonal makeup, it determines whether or not you turn male or female. She continued on and told me that if you are caught in between, then you might have more female tendencies then male ones and this would lean you in the way of being gay or lesbian. She also went on to tell me that it is just a mixup and some people are born in the wrong body. The conversation intensified and she even went into the religious part of things, stating that if God is mercyful and loving, that he would love all creatures of his creation as long as they lead a good life down here on earth. Well, you can imagine that I was speechless and amazed all at the same time.

I remember reading a post by Dianna that talked about transition, what it is and when you have done it. One of the most glaring and real parts of that post was the fact that she said, that you know when you have transitioned when the group that you are trying to transition to, opens their arms and says welcome in. Dianna said that a slow, mehodical approach to transition allows you to potentially bridge the gap and have people transition along with you over time. She sited instances where many have done the transition overnight and it didn’t work, because they were basically forcing the new look on everyone and the public didn’t have time to go along on the journey with them as well.

I can truthfully say that the slow and methodical method is the best way to go. Having a wife that does not accept the journey and has done whatever to destroy me and the journey along the way, she now seems to be going along with it and enjoys the internal changes that have taken place. My mother who found out from my wife, 4 years ago as my father lay on his death bed, and at that time said that if I need help she would get it for me, now has come full circle to accept who I am and what I am doing to complete the journey. It is either this, or she was telling me back then that she knew and would help me along the way and accept me as her child with no restrictions or reservations.

If you are true to yourself, your inner light will shine outward and show those around you that you believe and are at piece with who you are, and they will have to make a decision based on what they feel the facts are.

Thanks to Dianna for that post and to the other girls here that have shard their journies as well. Transition for the right reason, transition in a slow and deliberate manner are your best chances of not losing everything and starting over. It is better than if you do the overnight success story. The world needs to understand the journey, accept the journey and shoot holes in the journey, before they can partake in the journey. Stay strong, deliberate and open minded on your journey and you will get to the desired end in better shape than those that rush to the end result.

Renee